2 hypoglycemic episodes today. body is so efficiently metabolizing carbohydrates, i might have to get all fat american in order to not die

the Twilight Zone was NOT shot in 16x9 aspect ratio. humans are NOT normally 3ft wide. Lucille Ball did NOT weigh 250 lbs.

forcing me to read your TEXT in YOUR layout doesn't make me acknowledge yer artistry, it makes me want to punch u, if we meet, face to face.

Matt D. Fonseca's lameness: The M-Pire Will Rise Again! http://ping.fm/dZsN6

you're rolling your eyes because i'm "weird"? No, you're rolling your eyes because you're a retard.

Yahweh Jehova for GOP nomination! http://ping.fm/DKXxx

my bookends don't match any more. i like the newest one, but i liked when they matched, too :/

on the Party Bus- disco music & all- to the doctor, was sitting next to 1 of 2 friends, each so wide they couldn't sit together :)

US federal gov... vs. the federal reserve... whateva, gimme a $1. idc if yer a national govt or a bunch of evil capitalist corpororatist demons. where's my dolla?

i just (accidentally) poisoned my mom :(

$30 to cut off my left arm & make it look like an accident. anyone?

less than good news at the doctors today :-/

i like "awkward" silences